"I manage me no matter what you do."
I am going to...
Drive the fear out of our relationship
Bring you to the Heavenly Father
Manage me towards loving you
The enemy wants to steal from you your self-control. We want to give them something to grow towards. There is no way to blame your child for how you behave in the same way they have no way of blaming you for their actions.
We will maintain status as an adult. We are not "childing." This is called "parenting"
How many of you have parents. You have been given a toolbag from your parents. You get in trouble by using the tools your parents gave you. Too bad we do not live in the good old days when we could "drive away folly with a rod."
You have that relative that says, "you've got to control these children." We don't have a Father who takes you to the woodshed. He's not scaring you. He is loving you and nurturing you.
Video of toddler falling to the ground and crying anytime parent sees him.
Primary skills for parenting toddlers:
Build trust and a safe place
Teach self-control (interact in such a way that values self-control)
Teach boundaries (I am human, you will learn my boundaries that show me respect)
"Fun" or "room" If they child is throwing a fit you say "no fun." They keep crying you say, "fun" or "room"? "You decide" or "I decide." Put the child in the room and say, "you can leave the room when you are ready to be fun."
Your toddler is a genius - they learn fast.
I will not participate in any disrespectful behavior.
Loving Elementary school age children
Where did you learn that? Who showed you to do that?
Video of cop cam following a car that ran stop signs. Out comes a 7 year old boy that runs away. Parents report this was a bold attempt of child trying to avoid church.
Tips:
Ask great questions.
Have an arsenal of choices
Do not argue ... Ever. Don't engage on the power struggle.
Say... Tattoo: I know. I don't know. Probably so. That could be. Nice try, I love you.
Hold your child accountable.
Ask child to clean up messes.
Prioritize your connection. (Like the wifi going down) disconnecting from me is worse than not having internet.
"Delani, are you tired or do you need something to do?"
"Oh no, son, is Taylor crying because you hit him again." Why don't you sit in that chair until you can figure it out?
You want your children to know that this family puts relationships #1.
Loving your Teenagers on Purpose
Emphasize the connection.
Empower them to decide (some grown children don't like going home for Thanksgiving because the parents have not learned to treat grown children like a thinking, capable adults).
Build gratitude
Invite them to think ("how do you think that will go over?")
Manage permission, opportunities, and resources
You don't have control, you only have your side of the relationship.
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